What should I get my surrogate for the holidays?
I can tell you as a gestational surrogate on my second journey, we don’t expect anything for the holidays. We understand that intended parents are under a lot of financial stress during the surrogacy process and we don’t expect them to spend more money to get us gifts. If you are an intended parent and really feel the desire to get your surrogate a gift, I have some ideas for you!
Pregnant women are usually tired, sore and hungry…well, most of us are. Some things that most surrogates would probably appreciate around the holidays are:
Gift cards to local restaurants. I am often too tired to cook dinner when I’m pregnant. I am in my pajamas laying in bed by 6pm most nights. My husband has taken over a lot of the dinner duties or we go out to eat. I just don’t have the energy by the end of the day to cook a meal.
Gift certificate for a massage, chiropractic care, pedicure or acupuncture. If you know what your surrogate prefers as far as self-care, get them a gift card to spend a few hours getting pampered. Maybe your surrogate has expressed to you that her back is sore or her feet are swollen, I bet a massage would be a nice treat to relieve some of the discomfort.
Housekeeping services. Surrogates who work with our agency have housekeeping services as a part of their benefit package. If your surrogate doesn’t have that service included, consider getting them a month’s worth of cleaning services for her to use when she needs it most. I have been cringing at the sight of my filthy windows but there is no way I’m getting on a ladder to clean them!
A handwritten card. You can keep it as simple as sending a handwritten card expressing how much you appreciate her. Just knowing that you are being appreciated for all of the hard work is sometimes all you need to get through the hard times.
Hopefully you have some ideas to spoil your surrogate this holiday season. Again, there’s no obligation to get your surrogate a gift. Soon she’ll be giving you the priceless gift of a child so if you can’t afford a gift, send her a card to let her know you are thinking of her.