You can be a gestational surrogate even if…
"I will NOT terminate for any reason, does that disqualify me from becoming a surrogate?"
There’s a whole range of things I hear from women about why they can or can’t be a surrogate. Some assume just because they want to carry a child for someone else, then that alone makes them a good candidate...it’s not that easy. Some women think because they had a hangnail during pregnancy that they aren’t a good candidate for surrogacy, ok that’s an exaggeration but you get the point. I am the type of person that likes clear standards, a checklist, yes or no answers. Surrogacy is far from that. As the founder of Montana Surrogacy likes to say, “surrogacy is squishy.” There is RARELY a clear answer for anything and the answers change from clinic to clinic or agency to agency. I’ll outline some of the things that people assume disqualify them but actually might not.
Having gestational diabetes during your previous pregnancy doesn’t automatically disqualify you from being a surrogate with most clinics. Of course a reproductive endocrinologist will have to review your medical records to see how it affected your pregnancy. If the gestational diabetes was managed through diet it is rarely a problem, but again, a reproductive endocrinologist would have to make that call.
Having a c-section for your previous deliveries does not automatically disqualify you. If there were major complications that brought on the c-section or the c-section itself caused major complications, it could disqualify you. Again, the RE would need to review the records and decide if you are a good candidate. There are many successful surrogates who have had previous c-sections so don’t let that be what’s holding you back.
You are against termination
I have a lot of potential surrogate candidates come to me and ask: "I will NOT terminate for any reason, does that disqualify me from becoming a surrogate?" No! It doesn't! There are some intended parents who want a surrogate who is against termination so you might be a good match for them. It might take longer to match you depending on the pool of IPs that we have at the time.
You don't live near a fertility specialist
This may be an odd thought for people who don't live in Montana, but here in Montana, fertility specialists are hard to come by. I get a lot of calls from potential surrogates who are very concerned that they don't know of any fertility specialists near them so they don't think they will be able to become a surrogate. The good news is most of our Montana surrogates travel out of state to the IPs fertility clinic for the embryo transfer.
You are single
This also comes up a lot. People think they need a partner in order to qualify to be a surrogate but you don't! Having a good support system is extremely important but that can come from people other than a partner.
You had a miscarriage
According to the March of Dimes, 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Keep in mind that some of these pregnancies are miscarried before the woman even knows she is pregnant so she doesn't know she miscarried. That's HALF of all pregnancies! Miscarriages happen for many reasons, it doesn't mean you are automatically a bad candidate for surrogacy.