Holidays and gifts!
The holidays, everyone’s favorite time of year, right? Ha, not mine. Bah humbug. I love the heat of summer and the few months of no holidays to buy gifts for! Gifts in general are a stressful thing for me. I’m not a gift buyer and I don’t love receiving gifts. I’m a minimalist so “stuff” isn’t appealing to me. This makes the holidays a really stressful time for me! So, when I was pregnant with the surro babies, I didn’t buy my IPs anything for the holidays. I didn’t expect them to get me anything and I was already growing the best gift I could give them. If you are a gift giver, I have some ideas below for both intended parents and gestational surrogates!
Pregnant women are usually tired, sore and hungry…well, most of us are. Some things that most surrogates would probably appreciate around the holidays are:
Gift cards to local restaurants: I am often too tired to cook dinner when I’m pregnant. I am in my pajamas lying in bed by 6pm most nights. My husband has taken over a lot of the dinner duties or we go out to eat. I just don’t have the energy by the end of the day to cook a meal.
Gift certificate for a massage, chiropractic care, pedicure or acupuncture: If you know what your surrogate prefers as far as self-care, get them a gift card to spend a few hours getting pampered. Maybe your surrogate has expressed to you that her back is sore, or her feet are swollen, I bet a massage would be a nice treat to relieve some of the discomfort.
Housekeeping services: Surrogates who work with our agency have housekeeping services as a part of their benefit package. If your surrogate doesn’t have that service included, consider getting them a month’s worth of cleaning services for her to use when she needs it most. I have been cringing at the sight of my filthy windows but there is no way I’m getting on a ladder to clean them!
A handwritten card: You can keep it as simple as sending a handwritten card expressing how much you appreciate her. Just knowing that you are being appreciated for all of the hard work is sometimes all you need to get through the hard times.
Hopefully you have some ideas to spoil your surrogate this holiday season. Again, there’s no obligation to get your surrogate a gift. Soon she’ll be giving you the priceless gift of a child so if you can’t afford a gift, send her a card to let her know you are thinking of her.
Intended parents don’t get to experience being pregnant and all of the changes that come with that. They are however, planning for their bundle of joy to arrive. Below are some gifts ideas to help your IPs prepare for their baby.
Maternity photos: Keep in mind that not all IPs would like this. It might be too emotionally difficult for them to look at them after so much loss. Ask your IPs if this is something they would enjoy. If they are local or visiting for some appointments, you could plan it while they are there, so they are in the photos. There are so many cute ideas such as the IM holding a sign that says, “my bun, her oven”.
Custom blanket: If you know the baby’s name you could have a blanket made with their name on it. Parents love seeing their baby’s name on things. You can’t go wrong with this gift, it’s practical and sentimental.
Custom art: I received a beautiful custom clay mug when I was pregnant with the second surro babe. A local artist makes them, and she specializes in pregnant belly mugs but will make whatever you want. She can put the baby’s name on it too! There are so many art piece ideas that you can have custom made. Etsy has unique gifts galore!
Newborn photos: You can buy them a newborn photo package to use when the baby is born. There’s a lot of things to do to prepare for a baby and this might get overlooked but will end up being one of their most cherished gifts.
Nobody is expecting gifts so don’t feel like you need to go all out. Even just Facetiming during the holidays to show that you are thinking of each other is a sweet idea. Being there for each other and showing support often means more than a gift.
~ The Honest Surrogate
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