Dear Honest Surrogate...Altruistic vs. Compensated Surrogacy
If someone is choosing to be a surrogate just for the compensation, they should re-think that decision. Sure, the compensation is a great perk but a surrogacy journey is so complex that it takes more motivation than just the money. A surrogate should be someone who enjoys pregnancy and has a passion for helping others. Below are a couple of questions about doing surrogacy journeys for compensation vs. altruistically (no compensation).
Dear Honest Surrogate: I have been thinking about becoming a surrogate ever since I had my last child. We know we are done with our family and yet I dream of being pregnant one more time. I don’t want it to feel like a business transaction so I’m considering doing it for free but I don’t want to lose money by doing it. How does an altruistic journey work? -Ready to give
Dear Giver: That is so wonderful! I am just finishing my altruistic journey after doing a compensated journey so I have some insight into both types of surrogacy! With an altruistic journey, you would still be reimbursed for all of your medical bills, medications and vitamins, travel to appointments and so on. There is no reason you would lose money. Just make sure you have a lawyer that draws up a contract stating that you will be reimbursed for everything associated with the surrogacy. For example, most surrogates get $750 maternity clothing reimbursement for a singleton. Make sure you put those types of things in your contract. If you are working with an agency, all of this will be in your contract, they can just remove the compensation part since you are choosing not to take that. Contracts are meant to be negotiating so don’t be afraid to change things around so you are comfortable.
Dear Honest Surrogate: I have been researching agencies and it seems like the compensation really varies between them all. I have seen as little as $20,000 and as high as $100,000. How should I choose who to go with? -Confused about comp
Dear Confused: Although compensation is definitely something to factor in when making the decision of which agency to go with, it’s more important to choose an agency that you feel comfortable with and one that has a good reputation. When I was researching agencies before my first journey a major red flag from one agency was every time I called, I spoke with someone new. Every person I spoke with gave me different information. Another agency had a match meeting for me and didn’t factor in my top 2 requests for the journey. Pick an agency who is going to listen to you and find the best match possible, not one that is going to give you the highest compensation. In the end, you’ll be thankful for a smooth match!
Surrogacy is an extremely hard job emotionally and physically. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you think is fair. If you don’t feel comfortable taking money, then don’t. If you feel like you deserve to be compensated, then ask for compensation. You are giving someone the biggest gift you could possibly give. Make sure you feel good about how you are treated throughout the process.