Dear Honest Surrogate...What happens with an unexpected loss of an IP?

Life is filled with the unexpected. You can try to plan what will happen in the next year or even the next day but it’s not guaranteed to go as planned. If you have been paying attention at all to the “Ask Amber” videos or the blogs, you’ll know that I repeat the same thing almost every time: “Flexibility and communication are key to a smooth surrogacy journey, it rarely goes as planned.” Below are a couple of questions about the unexpected happening during a journey.

Dear Honest Surrogate: I just started the application process for surrogacy. This triggered my husband and I to write our will. Doing so has made me think about what could go wrong during my surrogacy journey. What if the intended parents or parent pass away during the surrogacy journey? Am I expected to keep the baby? -Thinking morbidly

Dear Morbid: Although it’s not something any of us want to think about, it’s important that you are thinking about all of the things that could happen during a surrogacy journey. If the intended parents or parent pass away during a surrogacy journey, you are not expected to keep the baby. In fact, that is not even an option. When the legal contract is drawn up, the intended parents will need to name a guardian for the baby if something would happen to them. Just as your are probably naming a guardian in your will to take your children if something happens to you, they will do the same in the legal contract. If there are two intended parents and one of them passes away, the living parent will need to decide if they want to be a single parent. If they don’t want to be a single parent, adoption is an option. All of these instances are extremely rare but it’s important to have a plan for the worst case scenerios.

Dear Honest Surrogate: When I started my surrogacy journey I was asked if I have life insurance and if I didn’t, the intended parents would purchase it for me. This made me nervous to think about the possibility of passing away during my surrogacy journey. Am I more likely to pass away during a surrogacy pregnancy than my own pregnancies? -Will writer

Dear Will writer: With pregnancy comes risks. This is true whether it is a surrogacy pregnancy or your own pregnancy. Nobody can predict how it will go. Life insurance is suggested because if something does happen to you during your surrogacy journey, we want to make sure your family isn’t financially burdened while they are grieving. It’s better to be prepared just incase. It’s highly unlikely that you will pass away during your journey. It’s more likely you’ll get in a car crash driving to the grocery store but since you don’t write a contract with all of the things that could happen to you on the way to the grocery store, you probably don’t think about it.

Be prepared for anything but don’t spend a lot of time stressing about it. The chances of things going wrong are very low. Things might not go as planned and in fact, we expect them to not go exactly as planned but it’s usually still a safe and healthy journey in the end. Just remember to be flexible and communicate ; )

Amber Campanelli ~ The Honest Surrogate