What Should Surrogates Expect Post Delivery?
Pregnancy as a surrogate can be a really rewarding time when you might feel pampered and the center of attention. Not only are your Intended Parents sending you emails and texts plus wanting to make sure you are happy and stress-free but your immediate family also can be very attentive, especially knowing that you are giving a very selfless gift and including them on this journey. Everyone is participating in making sure that this baby comes into the world healthy.
But what happens after the birth? Obviously, the baby is taken to its new home with his or her parents. They, the IPs, are now coming to the realization that raising a baby is a full-time job! Diapers, feedings, all of the things that they took for granted before like sleep…sleeping on their own schedule, sleeping in late, sleeping at all…. But for you, the surrogate, it’s a different story.
After you are released from the hospital with a clean bill of health and before your 6-8 week check-up with your own OB you can expect to (hopefully) have some time to heal and reflect on your surrogacy journey. You’ve done a wonderful service, added a branch to a family tree and you deserve the time off to rest.
Your own family will now expect your full attention. Like to end of most pregnancies you might have been overwhelmed with preparing to give birth. You were probably extra tired and maybe a little cranky. That’s all behind you now and your focus can now be on your own family. Maybe a weekend away or vacation is in order where you can reconnect and recenter everyone for “normality”. Thankfully you should be able to sleep through the night and set your own schedule. Your body will slowly become your own again. All good things to look forward to.
Your Intended Parents will be focusing on their own growing and changing baby. You can expect the texts and emails to be slow. Their interests will be focused elsewhere. If you are pumping breast milk you might find a new and different sort of relationship merging based around the delivery of said milk and all the equipment, storage requirements, and TIME it takes to manage to feed baby from afar. Even pumping breast milk will end at some point and that’s when you and your IPs will decide on what type of contact will work for all involved.
At the start of any match-before any contracts, embryo transfers, OB appointments ever happen- it is always hoped that a solid relationship will emerge between all parties. Quite a few have this type of experience where they stay in contact and often share photos and perhaps visits over the years to come. Others are happy with saying goodbye at the hospital never to connect again with a few exceptions of a yearly birthday photo or update. Whatever the case, most surrogates are happy with the outcome. Often, the rematch with new Intended Parents after a year or so. It’s a very addicting feeling knowing that you have the power to help someone realize the dream of raising a family, a dream that they might have given up on if it weren’t for someone like you. At the same time, you’ve helped your own family financially, and being an example of how giving of yourself is so fulfilling. Focusing your attention at home and your own dreams is especially important now.
I hope you find out firsthand about the wonders of surrogacy. It really is a journey that is rewarding for everyone involved!