Dear Honest Surrogate: Question about Single Intended Parents

Dear Honest Surrogate: I thought I had a vision of the ideal intended parents but the more I learn about surrogacy the more open minded I become. I’d like to know more about the different IP dynamics. Are there many Single IPs? How is that different than working with a couple or partners? I am concerned about their support system knowing how hard it is to raise a child and want to make sure that I feel comfortable in my decision with who I am working with. Interested in your thoughts and ideas about this. - Thinking about Single IPs

Dear Thinking: Your comfort is imperative when matching with an individual or couple. To answer your first question, yes there are a great deal of single intended parents and working with them over a couple does come with some differences to keep in mind. A single intended parent may not have a partner that will take part in raising their child, but they often have a great support system made up of their own friends and family. My own intended mother was single, but had a village of women in her corner including her own mother, and sisters. The amount of love her sweet girl has surrounding her in likely unmatched. I did have my own concerns about guardianship should she pass and those were addressed and placed into our contract. With that in place I felt comfortable knowing that her girl would have all the care and love she needed even in the absence of her mother. To put it plainly, there isn’t a right answer to this. While I was beyond thrilled to help this single mother on her journey, there are surrogates who want the couple dynamic and that’s absolutely okay. The journey is as unique as those on it.

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