Working with international intended parents
Nearly every time I mention surrogacy to people who are not in the surrogacy world, they assume that the surrogate and intended parents live close to each other. That is rarely the case. Our sister company, Colorado Surrogacy, does focus on local matches which I think is so exciting! Some surrogates and IPs really want to be close and involved with each other throughout the whole process so it’s nice to have that option. Some surrogates carry for IPs that are in another country then them!
It seems odd for IPs to travel across the world to have a baby but some of them have no choice. Most IPs that come to the United States to find a surrogate, do so because surrogacy is illegal where they live. Some countries where it is legal, have other rules or laws that make it difficult to go through with the surrogacy process so they come here for a smoother experience. France, Bulgaria, Germany, Spain, Portugal, and Italy are just a few countries that prohibit all forms of surrogacy. The UK, Belgium, Canada, Australia, and Ireland, allow surrogacy when the surrogate is not paid, or only paid for reasonable expenses.
With today’s technology, it’s quite easy to keep in touch. Many international IPs only travel to the U.S. once or twice during the surrogacy process. One of those times is for the birth or soon after to bring their baby home. With the use of video chat, social media, emails, texting...it’s easy to stay connected. Sometimes IPs that live far away, come a month or two before the baby is due so they can ensure they are there for the birth. This is also a chance for the surrogate and IPs to bond if they haven't through the use of technology.
I carried a baby for IPs that lived across the country from me. I lived in Montana and they lived in New York. Our first "meeting" was over video chat. We decided we liked each other and they made the trip to meet me in person. After that meeting, we all decided we wanted to move forward and we officially started our surrogacy journey together. The next time I saw them was at a first trimester ultrasound. The next time I saw them was at the birth! They did plan on coming out a few weeks before the baby was due but the baby decided to come at 34 weeks so plans changed.
Sometimes when I was exhausted and sick I was thankful they did not live close to me so they didn’t have to see me like that. Other times, especially at appointments, I wanted them next to me. Everyone has different needs and wants during their surrogacy journey and sometimes those needs and wants change throughout the process. The surrogacy process requires flexibility and a lot of communication.