Dear Honest Surrogate...
When you have been trying to get pregnant for some time with no luck, the blame game can happen. You try to think of something from your past that could have affected your fertility, even if it doesn't make sense. I've heard it all: "Did I sit in hot tubs too much?", "Was I on birth control too long?", "Maybe I rode my bike too much?". In reality, 1 in 8 couples have trouble getting pregnant and staying pregnant, so know that you aren't alone and you have options. Below are some "Dear Honest Surrogate" questions from people struggling with fertility.
Dear Honest Surrogate: My partner and I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years with no luck. I’m only 30 years old so I thought I would have no problem getting pregnant. Now I’m worried that something is wrong with me and we will never have a family. Is this all my fault? What should I do now? -Hopeful for a family
Dear Hopeful: First of all, don’t place the blame on yourself. 1 in 8 couples have trouble getting pregnant and staying pregnant. I would recommend making an appointment, for both you and your partner, with a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). The RE will perform tests on both of you and decide a course of treatment. The good news is that fertility treatments have come a long way and improve every year. You can also join meet-ups that focus on fertility. Trying to grow a family can be an emotionally and physically trying time, so it’s helpful to have a good support system. Always know that you are not alone and it’s ok to ask for help.
Dear Honest Surrogate: I was just diagnosed with endometriosis and the severity of my case inhibits my ability to carry my own child. My heart is broken. I want a child so bad. What are my options? -Broken Heart
Dear Heart: An endometriosis diagnosis can be devastating, I’m so sorry. According to the American Pregnancy Association, endometriosis is the leading cause of female infertility. The good news is, you have options. You need to have the means to afford those options AND have a good support system to help you through the very emotionally and physically trying process but there is hope! The first step is to find a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) to discuss those options. The RE will be able to tell you if you can use your eggs or if you need to look for a donor. Then you can interview surrogacy agencies and decide which agency fits your needs. The agency will walk you through your surrogacy journey. I wish you the best!
Once you start researching, I think you’ll be surprised at all of the fertility support and options there are in today’s world. Fertility research is a hot topic right now so advancements are made frequently. Every journey is different, good luck on your personal journey!