Dear Honest Surrogate...
Sometimes it's the people closest to you that are the hardest to convince that surrogacy is right for you. Often times it's lack of surrogacy education or worry of what could happen that makes your loved ones closed off to the idea of you becoming a surrogate. With a little education they usually come around. I have also had husbands want to attend the surrogacy meet-up I host to talk with other surrogates about their experience. Sometimes the only surrogacy stories they have heard are the negative ones the media has gone crazy over.
Dear Honest Surrogate: I have been dreaming of becoming a surrogate since I was pregnant with my first child. Now that we have two children and we know that we are done growing our family, I want to help another family grow their's. I have one hold up, my husband is not on board with the idea and I'm getting a lot of push back. How can I get him on board? -Dreaming of Surrogacy
Dear Dreamer: I totally get what you are going through. It took some convincing my husband before he was on board and he never was 100% on board. He will however support me in whatever I do, especially when he knows it's a dream of mine. I started by telling him how important it was for me to do this. Also, how I have been dreaming about it for years and if I didn't do it I would always feel like I missed out on something huge. My husband is a numbers guy, so showing him surrogacy statistics was very helpful. His biggest concern was my health. Showing him stats about the outcomes of surrogacy pregnancies eased his concerns. Because surrogacy has such strict requirements and qualifications, clinics won't accept you as a client unless you are a good candidate for surrogacy so the success rates of healthy outcomes is very high. I also sent my husband surrogacy stories to show him that it's not all negative stories like he has heard on the news. I also happened to know a woman who was a 3 time traditional surrogate so she was able to tell both of us her stories and how it was the most amazing thing she had ever done. You can also bring your husband to meet the agency and ask them questions. Bring him to surrogacy meet-ups or support groups.
If after trying all of these things, your partner is still not supportive, surrogacy might not be for you. You need the support of your spouse. This is a very emotionally and physically trying time and you need your spouse by your side, supporting you.
Amber Campanelli ~ The Honest Surrogate